America the Beautiful

Oh beautiful for denim skies,

the oceans green with envy.

The West so near.

The East so far.

Mexico and Canada

come close but no cigar.

They can’t forget the Indian

or England.


America, your enormity,

your typical nonconformity.

The union of separatists

formed your independence.


America, your exiled immigration.

Your truth self evident:

United States of

uncontrolled experiment

to see

if we

can ever

live together.

Digitized We Fall

Photo credit: GBlakeley

If the nation is divided, blame computing. A nation digitized against itself cannot stand. When we invented the computer we started down a slippery slope by reducing information to data—a series of binary on/off switches. Everything became zero or one, plus or minus, yes or no…us or them.

In the process of digitizing information, we have also distilled knowledge and understanding to extremes. Once you express ideas in absolutes, the next step is to think that way. Life imitates information. So now we have red states and blue states and politicians pandering to their “base,” which is not really the base at all but the fringe. We’ve got a left wing and right wing but the body politic is missing its core.

Remember the proverbial pendulum that would dependably swing back when things got out of hand? That grandfather clock has been replaced with a digital readout. It’s not just a metaphor. Technology changes how we view information. Sure, a digital watch tells exact time—it’s 11:47:03. But precision is no substitute for context. The reliable hands of an analog clock pointed to the hour in relation to the day. We saw what time it was and what time it wasn’t.

No more. Today we calculate but we don’t figure. We advance but don’t progress. Taking things to extremes, the Internet connects like-minded people so they can communicate, commiserate, coordinate, instigate. This gives radical causes a louder voice. The media comply with publicity in a quest to sensationalize events into big stories. Everything achieves “controversy” status. We used to have talking heads but now they shout.

Through this polarized filter we see the world as a snapshot but not the whole picture, like a digital photo distorted by poor resolution.

Why do we reduce, produce, record and convey information in this way? Because it’s easy, fast and cheap. Where will it end? We need only look at our digital devices to know: We’re going to crash. That’s because digital and electronic systems function perfectly or not at all. It’s everything or nothing. A mechanical system on the other hand, like an old model automobile, undergoes a graceful degradation. It gradually becomes less efficient until it peters out. In the past, you could always prop the carburetor open with a pencil. But in the electronic world of black boxes, we have no role in how the car runs and little advance warning before it dies completely. This total system failure is what engineers call catastrophic degradation.

Depending on machines is frightening enough. Let’s not allow how we think to depend on them too.

Rebirth of a Nation

[Illustrators: Sudowoodo, terdpong pangwong]

I want to have a little talk with you about the birds and the bees. As you know, right now, your body politic is going through an awkward transition that brings with it strange desires, excitement and also feelings of uncertainty.

You may have noticed changes taking place that you didn’t expect and don’t understand. I want you to know that everything is going to be okay. We all go through this and it is perfectly normal, and in many ways a beautiful thing.

Remember when you were little and I told you that Republicans were made of frogs and snails and puppy dog tails, and Democrats were made of sugar and spice and everything nice? Well sometimes these two very different types of people come together and even go out with each other. I know you think this sounds pretty gross and you’re right to make that face.

But the reason we come together is to create a new nation, conceived in liberty. Remember when Fluffy had kittens? It’s the same idea. You see, it’s a natural cycle. Every four years we have an election. Don’t be embarrassed. These are the facts of life. In the election the Democrat meets the Republican. Then, a few months later, there’s a new birth of freedom as your Uncle Abe would say.

I know it all sounds very weird right now. When you grow up, after you are old enough to register to vote, you will meet a candidate and fall in love and make a new nation together too. I guess what I’m trying to say is, even though it doesn’t seem like it now, you will get through these growing pains, and when you do, things will get a lot better. I promise.

So now you know where you came from—you came from people. If you have any questions, ask your forefathers.

Gefilte Fish: A Poem

Illustration: michaarcher

Gefilte fish is not a fish.
Gefilte fish is a dish.

You can put it in the skin.
But it won’t be a fish agin.






Christmas Cards

The holidays have just begun,
I see your card and raise you one.
Let’s go shuffle through the malls,
Look for deals to deck the halls.

I’ll bet that on this holiday
People still use layaway, and
Christmas clubs for shopping carts
With diamond gifts to meld our hearts.

In my hand I hold three kings.
Oh what joy a full house brings!